Saturday, April 23, 2011

How to know if an Anime fan will be annoying or not.

This may be a bit of casting stones.. or spears.. or whatever.. but I've come to the realization that it's simply something that bugs the heck out of me. I don't really intend for this to be taken entirely seriously. It is meant to be humourous..

On the internet, and in real life, if you choose to hang out in places where they tend to congregate.. you will no doubt come across Anime Fans. most of them are very average people who just happen to like Japanese cartoons. Ok, No harm there. It's the ones who self Identify as "Otaku" sometimes also "Wapanese" or more derogatorily as "Weeaboo" Which is a ludicrous slurry of racial epithets. These names are not really fair, because I've met plenty of non Caucasian anime fans..

So how do you know you're dealing with one of these rather than the more mundane sort of anime fan?

I've come across a few tips that have served me well.

1) They bring their own chopsticks with them and use them even when they are not eating Asian food. Though if you manage to find one of these in a place that serves non Asian food, then that alone is something of a miraculous happening. Chances are, they were dragged there by their parents. Will happily eat Ramen for 3 meals a day.. and can occasionally be seen worshiping rice cookers as if they were golden calves.

2) If their favorite Final Fantasy villain is Kefka, or conversely they dislike Final Fantasy 7 for no reason other than it not having Kefka in it. Final Fantasy 8 is a close runner up, it's good simply because it isn't as popular as 7 and therefore it's superior.

3) They waste no time at all in attempting to correct you of your misbegotten idea that you enjoy watching Robotech.

4) They maintain that all Anime must be watched Subtitled, or else you just can't appropriately appreciate the experience.. totally disregarding the fact that, by the very nature of the medium.. All animation is dubbed regardless of its original language. What they really seem to be antagonistic towards is the translations.. but don't seem to express it very well. Fan Subs (especially if they are of dubious legal status) are always superior to any commercial release because of this fact.

5) Related to #4, are extremely disdainful of all Western animation and comics. In their minds even the lowest scribblings of a Korean Cel painter are superior to Alex Ross.

6) Refer to themselves as 'Otaku'.. which is a mark of pride among their confederates.. but in Japan is more akin to calling yourself a hairy palmed geek.

7) Related to #5, randomly intersperse a smattering of Japanese in their every day language. Such as, "Kawaii" rather than just using the English word "Cute".. Answer the phone with 'Mushi Mushi'.. and make odd faces in attempts to emulate the facial expressions of anime characters.

8) Don't tend to really care that much about actual Japanese culture beyond the confines of the Otaku subcultures. Try getting an anime fan to watch a Kurosawa film.. it ain't pretty.

9) think that the chocolate (Dubious at best) dipped swizzle stick of stale cardboard known as Pocky is actually an edible snack food. Of course when you consider it's having to be shipped from japan to the US and then is possibly sitting in stores for months waiting for some half starved anime fan to descend upon the sun bleached boxes of empty calories.. maybe I've just had a few bad batches.

10) REALLY REALLY HATE ROBOTECH AND MAKES SURE YOU KNOW HOW STUPID YOU ARE FOR LIKING IT.. Your opinions and nostalgic remembrances mean nothing, You are an idiot if you like Robotech and don't immediately forsake it to watch Macross with Subtitles. Yes I really do feel I needed to emphasize this twice because it above all else is the #1 cause of friction between me and Anime fans.

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