Harry Potter, Movie Watch 2011. part 2

well that was.. Something.

Early on Thursday morning I woke up. Something about #5 just kept bugging me. Gnawing at my subconscious as I slept. I walked over to the book case and extricated the offending volume. I checked the page count. just shy of 900 pages. A truly huge tome. By far the biggest in the series. Eclipsing the first, by over 600 pages. With this knowledge I knew I was right in my ill feelings. I picked up the DVD cases and had it full confirmed. Harry potter and the Sorcerer's Stone has a run time of 142 minutes. For a 300 page book. Harry potter and the Order of the Phoenix has a run time of 139 minutes.. for a 900 page book. This is ridiculous in the extreme, Deathly Hallows is 200 pages shorter than Order of the Phoenix yet it got a 5 hour long film in two parts. To make matters worse, They kept nearly all the annoying and bothersome bits of #5. They left out stuff that would haunt #'s 6 and 7 and require backtracking, or simply hoping no one asked about those Yucatan sized plot holes left by their excision. One can only hope that there will be an eventual extended cut which will include a number of these very important elements.

Starting about 11am I watched Harry potter and the Halfblood Prince. What an improvement this was. It was just as complex as the the book, finally began tying up loose ends and making reference to objects found back as far as Sorcerer's Stone and Chamber of Secrets. Most importantly, it moved the story forward. It was an all around good film, except it has no ability to stand alone, something that the preceding 5 did have in some regard. It's too complicated to really summarize, or would spoil to much of the payoff for you watching the previous 13 hours of movies.

Skipping ahead to about 6pm. I left the house to get supper, then headed over to the theatre. I had tickets to see both parts of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows back to back starting at 9pm. 6 hours of potter mania where waiting for me a scant 16 miles down the road. I was not unimpressed.

Many people turned out in costume. Something I've not seen since The Return of the King came out. The demographics of the theatre were the most surprising. 6 out of 10 potterheads present were female. Had I known that, I probably wouldn't have put off reading/watching them so long. C'est la vie.

Movie #7.1 and .2 deftly continued the trend started with #6. Really the three movies could constitute a narrative build similar to a micro trilogy to cap off a series of standalone films. They did suffer slightly from the material left out of #5. Even to me, only an extremely casual reader of the series was able to point out a number of instances. Most of them revolved around the other orphaned boy residing at Hogwarts, Nevil Longbottom. The other thing the films did was try and soften the edges of Albus Dumbledore. To make him less of a Machiavellian schemer than he was in the last books.

The theatre cried over an animated elf, Cheered when Tim Burton's main squeeze bit the dust courtesy of Mrs. Weasley and booed audibly whenever Ralph Fiennes was on screen. The special effects were good enough to have me empathize with a particularly wretched dragon forced to work security in the depths of the goblin bank Gringotts. My dislike of David Thewlis, which stemmed from his character in Dragonheart, has been forgotten. But I'll say that even at a 5 hour run time, many many characters simply got fly-bys or were in group shots. I really can't say anymore than that without potentially spoiling the end. However I will say, I did find myself desperately wishing for Conan to run in from off screen and kill Nagini the giant snake.. after it having escaped death for the 4th or 5th time.

It was a good night. Consider me a Convert. But I'm glad I'm a convert on my own terms. Rather than having jumped on the bandwagon earlier, I chose to ignore it and let it pass me by. Only going to its last performance, slipping out before the final curtain call.

*Edit*

I forgot to add something else. It struck me as humorous that Ralph Feinnes plays Voldemort, while his brother Joseph portrays Merlin in the Starz show Camelot.

Harry Potter, Movie Watch 2011. part 1

In the last few days I've watched films 1-5 for the first time. Just as I earlier this year read the book series for the first time.

When I read the books back in the spring, I mostly enjoyed the earlier books in the series. I found them to be relatively light pseudo fantasy fare in the vein of Roald Dhal's whole body of work. They really do remind me of James and the Giant Peach and Big Friendly Giant and all those sorts of things.. Having Flying Cars reminded me a lot of Ian Flemming's Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They are frightening, slightly demented.. but none of the villains approach the level of evil that the Child Snatcher or The Witches possess.

But starting with Book #4, this began to change. Almost from the very beginning when the death eaters attack the Quidditch World Cup. This is telling the reader/viewer that, the world is changing. Grab a helmet.

My feelings are that for the most part, I enjoy the films more than the books. Up to a point. That point is book/film #5. The Order of the Phoenix was by no means my least favorite of the series. That would be giving it too much credit. No I abjectly Hate, Order of the Phoenix. The book/films entire purpose is about the attempts of some individuals to reset the status quo. to put the genie that is Voldemort back into his bottle.

It forces characters to conform into molds they wouldn't conform too in any real life setting I've ever encountered. The character who really shines in the film is probably Alan Rickman's Snape. Who for the first time is really given a big part and we get a glimpse into his childhood and why he hates James Potter so much. On the other hand, the wonderful Gary Oldman is yet again wasted entirely in the 5th film. Having shown up in #3, and disappeared entirely during #4... it was nice having him back. But they just didn't do enough with the Black Residence or Kreacher or Sirius.. or frankly any of the Order of the Phoenix members. Choosing to almost entirely focus on the school.

It comes across in both places as excruciatingly stupid. It makes the characters themselves buffoons for drinking that koolaid. It denies us any knockdown dragout wizard magic fights for nearly 500 pages, or just about 2.5 hours. Along with that it at best plays down, and at worst outright ignores the momentous impact of what happened at the end of the last book/film. There is a distinct lack of feeling that, Though the world is different now. It's best if you keep calm and carry on. It's a seachange in the cultural undercurrent.

It didn't help that I really hate seeing Seigfried Farnon (Robert Hardy, who is an Expert at the Longbow in real life, having written two books about Agincourt and the Long Bow.. which makes him pretty bad ass in my book)as the worthless Cornelius Fudge either, or that I hate Helena Bonham Carter in just about anything she is in. It makes it difficult for me to even pay attention.

Tonight I'm going to watch #6, and tomorrow I'll be watching #7 & 8 in theatres.

Harry Potter, The Finale

I just closed the cover on Deathly Hallows. Allow me to say how relieved I am to finally have that project behind me. I'm glad to move on from those books. I was beginning to feel I couldn't deal with their blatant disregard of anything resembling a logical consistency.

Don't get me wrong, the Plot made sense.. it just could have been compressed into about half as many pages and been the better for it. But you can't jump off the gravy train like that.. I realize.

The series is so full of stuff that had me frustrated I nearly quit reading them. The characters never really grew on me. If they did, they died before the series was up anyway. I can also say, I've never met any kids who act like they do in this series.. but I've met plenty who THINK they act like they do in this series. Thats probably why the series was so popular. My eyes have rolled so much in the course of reading this series I may have caused permanent torsion to the muscles.

Handful of Adults know whats what and know to stand back and let the kiddos handle the tough jobs.. while the rest are off being blithering idiots and ruining the kids plans. Its pretty thin.

The whole concept that the book teaches Witchcraft is absurd.. but it does Beyond encourage some dramatically dangerous attitudes. Genetic superiority, racial purity, ethnic slurs, slavery.. these are all things the magic users make regular use of and think nothing of it. They toss around "Muggle" like jim crow era southerners. They are encouraged by adults to do this. So of course by the time we get to the 7th book, the "muggle" Lynchings have begun too. I'm honestly surprised that theres no bonfires with death eaters standing around chanting "Wizard Power, Wizard Power" But since the "muggles" are all clearly idiots.. worse even than the adult wizards.. no one seems to feel they need to be let in on the whole thing.. This is clearly more a fear on the part of the wizards that they wouldn't stand a chance against the "muggles" if it came down to brass tacks. The Wizards it seems have begun to delude themselves into thinking it was their choice to go into hiding.. rather than being forced into hiding by the Torch & Pitchfork wielding "muggles".

The magical abilities of the characters, due to spontaneously showing up in 'Muggle-borns" is obviously Genetic.. yet at the same time it requires a wand to work.. Freud would have had a field day with this. This fact leads many of the Magic users to feel they should be running the world.. yet most don't even seem to grasp how to wear clothing properly. This is laughable at best. The fact they seem to nominally be Christian is also a head scratcher. The characters celebrate Christmas in all the books.. and Harry puts a cross over the grave of several of the casualties. I assume this could be a vestige of his childhood with the Durselys, but I'm not sure.

Harry himself has to be one of the more annoying characters in literature. He's not annoying to me the same way, say, Cugel or Richard Rahl are. They are annoying because they seem incapable of understanding other peoples views of the world. Neither of them has any problem with wanton killing if they see their views justified, as they are, being threatened. Harry is the complete opposite. Even when his friends are being murdered left and right around him, he can't bring himself to kill. He's the perfect spokesman for the "duty to retreat" laws that are in effect in so many places. It's always best to run away from danger and let some one else handle it. It makes him a very unbelievable character.

But any time you bring up an inconsistency like that. Its hammered home again and again that "it's only a kids book". Right.. it's better to patronize the little monsters and make them feel special since thats what gets the money out of mommy and daddies pockets and into the till. But make no mistake. It is only a kids book. It's not even as complicated writing wise as the Narnia books are. It lacks their moralizing, but it also lacks the character building. It's easily out classed in that department by the Prydain books. Taran starts off as a bit of a crybaby too, but through grit and determination comes to be a good man. I don't think its fair to compare the Harry Potter series with adult novels like Lord of the Rings. But it is fair to compare it to other novels written for kids. Rowling is no Lloyd Alexander or Susan Cooper..

Rowling's writing style is, very similar to Stephen King's, and that probably goes a long way to explain his admiration for her work. I like Stephen King, his books remind me of a comfortable chair, lacking any complexity in the language.. Rowling has that same feel. I don't think its a style that lends to the sort of epicness she apparently intended for the series to take on. To me it reminds me of a small child walking around in his dad's shoes, and barely managing to keep them on.

I'm really dreading watching the films now. The series was a cute kids book for the first 3.. and then just flip flopped from book to book with the rest. 4 and 6 were pretty good. 5 and 7 were pretty dire. The Idea of sitting through close to 20 hours of Harry Potter makes me more than a bit uneasy. Hopefully though, the movies are an improvement on the novels. Hopefully some of the stuff that read poorly, will be rendered more believable on screen. Hopefully.

Wizard Smoothies

So here I am, just sitting here, beavering away at finishing Harry Potter and the Deathly hallows. I'm probably slightly more than half way done.. and I've hit upon a raft of new questions about this series. Well .. annoyances really..

Why is it that every adult in the series up till now, practically crapped their pants every time some one mentioned Voldemort yet.. now they all seem to be working for him willingly? Why is it if he is so dangerous no one has bothered to do anything about him until now? Why is the series turning into an allegory about the Nazis? Surely the Wizard's would have known about World War II and Hitler.. and wouldn't have allowed that to happen to them? And this is the one they felt the need to make into a 5 hour 2 part film? Really? Nothing's happened so far.

It makes me wonder.. Why haven't they bothered to tell the "Muggles" that if Voldemort wins he plans to kill them all? Way back in the first book, one of the characters explains why the Wizarding world is invisible.. and thats because the "Muggles" kept burning them at the stake.. so apparently "Muggle" technology can lay the hurt down on a Wizard. And that was Swords and Pointy sticks.

So since pointy sticks work against wizards.. but no one seems to bother to use weapons.. I'd like to see a Broomstick Vs. an F-35.. It would be awesome... but instead, we are shown yet more hand wringing by practically every character. It shouldn't be surprising. The series' main character wouldn't even throw down on Draco Malfoy for insulting his mom.. he let Hermoine slug him instead. Cause I certainly wouldn't have stood for that and I can't think of too many kids who would. I mean, Thank god he didn't insult Kvothe from Patrick Rothfuss's Name of the Wind.. or he likely would have gotten a mouthful of high test booze to the face and a quick light.

So most importantly why are none of the Wizarding groups in other countries doing anything about this? Voldemort poses a threat to the whole planet and not just jolly ol' England. The only allies Harry seems to have are a few Wizards and Witches from France.. all the rest of the European magic users seem to be behind Voldemort.. But Harry is no Bernard Montgomery... and Madame Maxine is no Leclerc.. Maybe Dr. Strange, Harry Dresden and Willow & Tara need to go and sort things out for them..

Kid's book or not, even Bilbo carried a sword and kicked some spider ass. And its such a shame because the series started out with such promise of being a relatively light children's series about magic and everyone being a unique snowflake and all that. But instead the author decided she wanted to make it Epic, with a Dark Lord and all that.. and failed miserably.